Monthly Archives: July 2009

Loser

Heeyyy!  I'm a dousch!

Heeyyy! I'm a douche!

What did Big Papi say when A-Rod got busted as a member of the infamous cheater list:

“If I test positive using any kind of banned substance I’m going to disrespect the game, my family, my fans and everybody. And I don’t want to face the situation so I won’t use it.”

Oh, and don’t forget: “I test you, you test positive, you’re going to be out. Period.”

What does he say now that he is busted as well? “No comment.”

Way to go!  Not only are you a big, fat, .230 hitting loser, you are a hypocrite!  Good for you! (as said in my best Christian Bale going crazy voice)

Argh!

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I guess part of getting your work published is learning to deal with public criticism.  I was used to having my stories dissected and criticized in the closed environment of my fiction writing workshops but for some reason this felt different.  When I read 2 bad reviews in a row of “Infestation” I must admit I was steamed.  I cooled off quite quickly as I realized that only 2 comments of 48 were unfavorable and reality set in that you can’t please everybody.  Plus, you never can tell what somebody’s true motivation for being negative is.

Anyway, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, right?  One thing that kept me smiling was a comical response to a not so great review that came to mind.  Jeffrey Ford once posted a review of “The Shadow Year” on his blog that was unflattering.  He proclaimed something to the like of “Hey, look at this guy take a big stinking deuce on my endeavor!” like some badge of courage. Of course “The Shadow Year” has just recently won the Shirley Jackson Award.  So hey, maybe I’ve arrived!  (That’s how I’ll take it anyway!)

Odds and Ends

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Firstly,  I just got back from the Bahamas.  My wife and I celebrated our 10th anniversary there and we had a great time, however; its amazing how traveling by air these days can completely destroy a good time.  Not only did American Airlines cancel our flight to Miami on our way back to LaGuardia, they put us on a connector that only gave us 45 minutes to get to our next flight.  We had to sprint through the terminals because we had to go through security AGAIN because we had to enter a new terminal.  Of course we out ran our luggage which now resides somewhere in the twilight zone.  Hopefully we get our stuff back.

On a lighter note INFESTATION, on Pseudopod.org, is still going strong with 45 comments.  If you haven’t, please check it out and leave a comment.  I would love to hit the big 5-0.  Go here to check it out:   Pseudopod 145: Infestation

Also, I get so many great comments on the reading by Cayenne Chris Conroy.  A very big and public “THANK YOU” to him for lending his talent.

Lastly, just sent a story ,I hope to get published, to Black Static in the U.K.  It’s a really cool and different magazine.  Check it our here:     http://ttapress.com/blackstatic/

The Interview

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The karma in my writing life has been unbelievably good.  First I befriend a woman named Lynn at work after moving to south Jersey.  She, like myself, is  a huge Yankee fan and she was familiar with were I grew in Rockland County, NY.  and remembered fondly Rockland Bakery and their incredible pumpernickle.  So, every time I went home and hit Rockland Bakery I would bring her back some pumpernickle.  Fast forward a year or two and I trying to get a “novel” published and someone says to me “you should ask Lynn about publishing.”  “Why?” I ask.  Well Lynn is married to Jeffrey Ford who happens an amazing writer.  I had no idea.  So Lynn puts me in touch with him and next thing you know I’m in Jeff’s class learning how to write.  All praise pumpernickle bread!

 

Also, congrats to Jeff.  His novel The Shadow Year has just won the Shirley Jackson award!

 

Now, fast forward to class.  There’s this soft spoken gentleman who is actually walking to and from the train station to class.  Te walk is about 3-5 miles!  Class would end at 10PM and this guy was walking at least 3 miles in the dark.  I offer to drive him to the train station after class and continue to do so for our 2 years in class together.  Turns out he is a great guy, we hung out before and after class, and he even got me and my son into Comic Con in NYC.  Also, it turns out he is an incredible writer.  He has an amazing way with words and wrote on a higher level then anyone else in class.  We still bounce some things off each other.  

 

Anyway, my friend from class, Hanvey,  just had his first work published!  Congrats to him and check his piece out at:

 

http://www.dietsoap.org/2009/06/25/the-interview-by-hv-chao/

What I’m Writing Now

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Here’s the first two paragraphs of a story I’m working on.

 

The flowers looked hungry.  The blossoms strained their stem-necks toward them as they walked by.  Tiny leaves reached out grabbing at the air.  Filaments rippled and gnashed together like hungry teeth and vibrant petals, red, blue, and orange, caught the scent of meat as their ovules growled in hunger.

A red grevillea reached toward Brie.  Straining at its roots its tiny red fingers, barbed at the end, reached out for flesh.  Grandma brought down her machete chopping the head off the flower.  It fell to the ground with a tiny squeal and rolled off the roads embankment into a swarming mass of weeds.

Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen; an unsolicited review

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First, I loved the first movie, its a family favorite in my household.  The second movie left a lot to be desired.  The special effects were better in the 2nd installment and the story left a little to be desired but what did this movie in was the awful, awful humor.

I expected better with the same team of writers/directors.  The first movie was warm and had its funny moments.  Fallen tried to be funny but was insulting to the intelligence of anyone over the age of 11.

Did we really need to see Sam’s mom high on pot brownies?  This was cliche and moronic.

John Turturro’s sector 7 character was flat out annoying BUT not as a buffoonish as Sam’s new roommate who was completely unnecessary.

Those 2 robots Skids and Mudflap were racist caricatures that were insulting and unnecessary.  They were on par with Jar Jar Binks for unneeded stupidity.

Bottom line is this movie is fun but there is too much crap in between to keep it from being nothing more than mediocre.